Chainsaw Dudley (1:39:10 AM): hello ma'am, i am returning your message from the racial joke help hotline
PurpleHaze4056 (1:39:30 AM): oh, wonderful, do you have the results of my inquiry
Chainsaw Dudley (1:39:36 AM): we have assessed your experience and have calculated it to be within acceptable ranges of comedy.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:39:57 AM): fantastic!  That's good news indeed
Chainsaw Dudley (1:40:16 AM): thank you for using the racial joke help hotline
PurpleHaze4056 (1:40:29 AM): So, its official, Black guys in a mini van are funny
Chainsaw Dudley (1:40:59 AM): larger black guys have increased effect
Chainsaw Dudley (1:41:15 AM): smaller than average also react similarly to our meters.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:41:24 AM): I could only imagine
PurpleHaze4056 (1:41:31 AM): it's too bad they were normal sized
Chainsaw Dudley (1:41:50 AM): if the black men had afros, we would not be able to produce accurate results without special machinery that can measure funny in the R-axis.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:43:08 AM): haha
Chainsaw Dudley (1:43:12 AM): that would of course extend out of our free services
PurpleHaze4056 (1:43:53 AM): you just can't expect calculations on the hilarity of an afro, let alone two in a mini van, for free
Chainsaw Dudley (1:44:18 AM): we can actually only measure one, then apply a formula for each additional afro
Chainsaw Dudley (1:44:35 AM): there is a potential for slight error, but it is the best results we can produce.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:44:37 AM): I see
PurpleHaze4056 (1:46:16 AM): so what would you say the level of funny would be if say a black man were carrying an armload of butter down the street, dropped the butter, then proceeded to say "awww, sheeeet."
Chainsaw Dudley (1:47:11 AM): that is actually the basis of our FNm scale.
Chainsaw Dudley (1:47:22 AM): the FNm scale stands for "funny negro moment"
PurpleHaze4056 (1:47:26 AM): oh.... I see...
PurpleHaze4056 (1:47:31 AM): haha
PurpleHaze4056 (1:48:22 AM): so the top of the scale is a black man and an armload of butter, and all other FNm's are compared to the hilarity of that particular FNm
Chainsaw Dudley (1:48:37 AM): the scale works like so:
Chainsaw Dudley (1:48:52 AM): as each funny negro moment is recorded, it is placed on the scale with all other recorded moments
Chainsaw Dudley (1:48:58 AM): the top moment being the armload of butter
Chainsaw Dudley (1:49:14 AM): the lowest being a black man beaten to death by klansmen.
Chainsaw Dudley (1:49:44 AM): each moments rank is determined on where it is placed. its ranking may move depending on additional entries.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:50:13 AM): I see
Chainsaw Dudley (1:50:16 AM): we automatically filed your moment upon completion of analysis, it is currently within the top twenty percent.
PurpleHaze4056 (1:50:27 AM): wonderful
Chainsaw Dudley (1:51:05 AM): directly below a black man bursting into a convenience store and doing a vaudeville dance, and above a black man rolling a watermelon down a hill
PurpleHaze4056 (1:51:46 AM): That put my experience in a very honorable position indeed
Chainsaw Dudley (1:52:25 AM): would you be interested in purchasing the annual "who's who among funny black person spotting" book?
PurpleHaze4056 (1:53:02 AM): most definately, what is the price on this anthology
Chainsaw Dudley (1:53:35 AM): 59.99 for the leatherbound edition, 39.99 for linen bound.
Chainsaw Dudley (1:54:03 AM): both come with a foreword by matthew stansbery
PurpleHaze4056 (1:55:06 AM): that is an incredible deal.... does the leatherbound edition come with a collectors bucket of chicken?
Chainsaw Dudley (1:55:38 AM): your experience has just been outranked by "meeting chapelle face to face in the feminine hygine section of k-mart"
PurpleHaze4056 (1:55:58 AM): aw.... damn.  Oh well, I suppose that happens
Chainsaw Dudley (1:56:03 AM): okay thats it theres nowhere to go from there.
Chainsaw Dudley (1:56:11 AM): that just capped the night.